News

Well, the biggest thing of all to share is that I did it: I finished the first draft of my book. I finished it three days before Thanksgiving and haven't looked at it since. After the holidays I'm going to go back to it with a fresh pair of eyes and start editing.

I don't think anybody looks at this blog anymore, but if you do, thank you for your support over the past year of this project.

There has to be a better way for me to thank you... and there is!

I'm going to revamp Words for Food. It's going to be a public creative writing forum for anybody and everybody who wants to participate. The fun stuff you found here -- movie reviews, book reviews, random thoughts on pop culture and creative writing exercises -- will be found there as well, plus a lot more ideas that are in the works. My final post on this blog will be a link to the new one. I hope you all make the switch. It's going to be a lot of fun. :)

Until we meet again...

HERE I AM!!

I exist! I'm here! A living, breathing human being!

I haven't been absent for no reason. I'm now working on Chapter 13 of THE BOOK (working title ;)) and there will only be a few more after that. (I can't say for sure how many. I'm on the story's time table.)

BUT there is definitely light at the end of the tunnel. This is awesome and incredibly scary. Especially since I just saw this thing online about building an audience before even submitting stuff to publishers. So, with that in mind, what do we think about me cleaning up this blog, making it spiffy and cool, being more active on it, and... GULP... making it public??

I'd have to go back and delete the extra personal stuff, but I'm ok with that. I wish I was better at this computer/tech stuff. Maybe I can get someone to help me? The point is, I'm starting to think past the writing itself and on to the hard part -- getting people to give a crap.

Let me know if you do!

I do still exist!

I said I'd be posting sporadically. I don't even have anything to say this time except that little reminder. :( Sorry.

Turner Classic Challenge results

I'll admit it: I stumped myself a little with this one.

The challenge was to choose contemporary actors/actresses to compare to their counterparts from the Golden Era of Hollywood. Here's what I came up with:

1. Joan Crawford
Sadly, this one didn't work out. I couldn't think of anyone who was as bitchy, crazy, talented, devoted to her fans or ballsy as Joan. Maybe she's one of a kind.

2. Clark Gable
He was described as a man's man. I saw on a documentary that he did one role where he played the underdog and it basically flopped because the audience didn't want to see him as anything but the big, manly man. My contemporaries are Clive Owen and Daniel Craig. They can play emotional, but they still exude tons of masculinity while they do it.

3. Elizabeth Taylor
The husbands, the glamour, the diva, the adulteress, the overrated talent. I chose Jennifer Lopez, who I think fills all of the above descriptions.

4. Humphrey Bogart
Everyone took him seriously, he always seemed to play a tough guy, but he was playful enough to land Lauren Bacall when she was only 19 and he was in his 40s. I chose George Clooney. Wait, I know... Clooney is super handsome and fun-loving, but I think these past few years he's really established himself as a serious part of Hollywood. And he does love those younger ladies...

5. Audrey Hepburn
I'm torn here. Audrey wasn't all that talented, but she was captivating. And in her personal life, she was very flawed. She had an ethereal quality, but could pull of a serious role every once in a while. The first two women who came to mind were Gwyneth Paltrow and Winona Ryder. (Winona probably because of the pixie hair.) They're both versatile but neither has ever really blown me away in a performance. And they both seem super weird in real life.

6. Fred Astaire
Bear with me here. Fred was a revolutionary, right? As far as dance goes, he was IT. And he always seemed to be pushing the envelope. The dance with the firecrackers in "Holiday Inn"... nobody had ever done that before! So, in terms of reinvention, diversity, forward-thinking, visionary type performances, I'm going with Johnny Depp. The man disappears into his roles and is constantly crossing lines. Plus, he has an on-screen partner in Helena Bonham Carter the way Astaire had with Ginger Rogers.

7. Marilyn Monroe
There are a lot of young, damaged starlets that could easily go the way of Marilyn. That's the problem -- there are too many. Lindsay Lohan's behavior comes to mind, but she's nowhere near Monroe's bombshell status. Scarlett Johansson has the look, but not the personality flaws. I'm leaving this one up in the air.

8. Jimmy Stewart
You all can hate me for this one. I kind of hate myself for it, to be honest. I'm not making my choice based on talent or prestige or even worth. It's all based on one look. That pained, tortured, heartbreaking, Jimmy Stewart look that makes you really believe the hardship his character is suffering. There are moments -- just moments -- where Nicholas Cage gives that look. And that's the only reason he gets mentioned.

9. Judy Garland
Child actress, troubled youth, failed marriages, mental breakdown, death in middle age. I hope the last part doesn't prove true for Britney Spears, but she's definitely following near the same track. Britney can't sing, though. That's the main difference.

10. Katharine Hepburn
This woman was a bit of a revolutionary herself. Beyond being a phenomenal talent, she was also a huge feminist, not afraid to express her political opinions and beliefs, and, frankly, considered a bit odd and dangerous. As far as the work, I choose Meryl Streep, who is the most celebrated actress of modern times. As far as the rest, I choose Angelina Jolie (who almost landed the Crawford role) because of her outspokenness and fearlessness regarding the things she believes in.

That was harder than I thought, but a fun challenge. I'm going to come up with another one soon. But, I warn you, I want to be finished with the first draft of my book by Thanksgiving, so if I don't post as often as usual, that's why. I won't forget completely, but I'll be sporadic at best. :)

Movie Review: "Friends With Benefits"

Okay, I lied. This post won't have my Turner Classic Challenge answers in it. I forgot that I meant to write about Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis making me laugh my ass off.

Now, the thing about this movie is that it has the same premise as "No Strings Attached," with Natalie Portman and Ashton Kutcher, where friends agree to have casual sex with each other but not be in a relationship.

Having now seen both (did I post a review of "NSA"? I don't remember) I can say that I definitely liked "FWB" better, and not just because Justin is ever so much hotter than Ashton. I liked it better because it was much, much funnier. "NSA" had all of the cheesy rom-com moments we've come to expect and dislike, and while the formula is basically the same, the delivery in "FWB" makes all the difference.

Justin and Mila banter the way my friends (JUST friends, no benefits) banter -- quick, sarcastic, snarky, ridiculous, random. They also care about each other the way my friends and I care about each other. Of course the inevitable happens and real feelings come into play, and they have to decide what they're going to do about them (here's where it got a bit rom-commy for me).

Just in writing this post, I've figured out the main reason "FWB" appealed to me more than "NSA." The answer is right in the title: Friends. Natalie and Ashton aren't ever really friends in "NSA" before they hook up. Justin and Mila, on the other hand, have a friendship foundation. Both couples -- SPOILER ALERT! -- end up together (did anybody think they wouldn't?) but in "FWB" it's because the pair actually genuinely liked each other first and then fell in love.

Turner Classic Challenge

Turner Classic Movies was on quite a lot this weekend, and it gave me an idea for a blog post. I challenge you, my readers*, to come up with the modern-day equivalent for the following stars of the Golden Age of Hollywood:

Joan Crawford

Clark Gable

Elizabeth Taylor

Humphrey Bogart

Audrey Hepburn

Fred Astaire

Marilyn Monroe

Jimmy Stewart

Judy Garland

Katharine Hepburn

Answers can be based on comparative bodies of work, looks or rumored personalities off-screen. I'll follow up with my choices in the next post.

*however few of you there may be

Book Reviews: "The Wilder Life" and "Case Histories"

"The Wilder Life" by Wendy McClure is the author's non-fiction journey into the world of Laura Ingalls Wilder and the Little House series.

Seriously? Why didn't I think of this??

McClure, like me, grew up reading and loving the Little House books and, as an adult, decided to submerge herself in "Laura World" to learn as much as she could about the real Ingalls family by visiting the places they really lived, cooking the food they really ate, doing the chores they really did and reading practically every written word about them that exists.

Being the huge geek I am, I'd looked up some info on Laura (there's a previous post about her in here somewhere) and the others, so some of what McClure discovered wasn't shocking to me. Other things were, such as Pa knowingly -- and illegally! -- settling on Indian land in Kansas, and that the family lived in and helped run a hotel in Iowa (never mentioned in the books) and skipped town in the middle of the night to avoid paying up on a debt.

Other things helped some puzzle pieces find their place. I'd always thought Pa was sort of irresponsible in the books, hauling his family all over the place and having them endure such a hard life, being brand-new settlers almost everywhere they went. Laura wrote it off as his adventurous spirit, but in reality it seems like the man was an opportunist. I'd also always wondered about Ma, who never seemed as warm as Laura wanted to make her out to be. I always thought she was never happy being a pioneer woman or a farmer's wife. She'd never say so, of course, but I always felt Ma would have been happier if they'd stayed East, and was therefore bitter.

Then there's the stuff with Almanzo. In the books, Laura seems oblivious to his interest until other people start pointing it out. In reality, I think she was aware and simply not interested until at least a year into their acquaintance. Also, Almanzo's age is sort of ambiguous in the story, so we think he's a couple of years older than Laura at the most. In reality he was 10 years older than she, and it's just creepy to think of a 25-year-old man pursuing a 15-year-old girl, so I can't say I blame Laura for writing around that age difference.

McClure seems to have a hard time reconciling the feeling she got while reading the books with the feelings she has in the world of the real people. I'd like to go to a couple of these places myself and see what feelings I have. The important conclusion that McClure comes to, which is one I came to while doing my own research, is that the books are inspired by real people and not necessarily autobiographical. However, since Laura was the author (and would this even have been an issue if she wrote under a pen name?) and it was her own life that inspired the story, they are as credible and genuine in spirit as they ever were, regardless of whether or not the events are true.


"Case Histories" by Kate Atkinson is a mystery novel that was recommended to me by Dianna. Private investigator Jackson Brodie is challenged with working the unsolved murder of an 18-year-old woman (crime happened 10 years previous), the unsolved disappearance of a 3-year-old girl (she vanished 34 years previous) and discovering the whereabouts of a woman who ran away from home as a teenager and would be in her mid-twenties today.

We jump from Brodie's point of view to the characters surrounding each case (mainly the characters who come to Brodie for help), but in the end we see what actually happened to the three subjects.

The truth about the case of the missing toddler wasn't shocking to me, since the guilty party was built up to be suspicious all along. The details of the other characters surrounding the events are what make the mystery rich, and there is certainly more than one person at fault for the course of events.

The truth about the teenage woman's murder is a little random. Several characters around that case are built up to be possible suspects, but in the end it's someone we don't even know who is to blame. That felt a bit like a letdown.

The third case is the most complex, since it involves stolen identities and the least amount of information. I am happy to say I figured out the true identity of the runaway before it was revealed, but the truth about the events that led to the girl's circumstances was a surprise.

All of these characters cross each other's paths in some way, but never in a way that felt forced or unrealistic. I also really enjoyed the writing itself. With the grisly material of the unsolved crimes it was nice to have moments of humor and sarcasm in the mix.

Speaking of the crimes: They were all against girls and/or young women. And the male characters whose thoughts and points of view we saw were very protective of females and always saw the potential danger they were in. The whole thing is like a giant warning note from Atkinson to young women: Beware! You are never safe! There are parts of the book that are unpleasant, but I think that underlying message is what gives the story its true sense of unease.

Vacation photos

The view from our balcony.


The bar. =)


Shots! Shots! Shots! Everybody!


Sand castles in the sand. (Robin Sparkles. Get it? Anybody? Bueller?)


The casa.


Texas Forever!!


Thar be pirates aboard, matey!


Sea shells at the sea shore.


Mandalas. The two at the bottom are mine.


"Mine? Mine?" (Finding Nemo. Get it? Anybody? Bueller?)


The casa from the boardwalk.


Margarita night! Everybody!


Until next year...

Movie Review: "Crazy, Stupid, Love."

Finally! A romantic comedy that works!

The movie follows Cal (Steve Carell) after his wife Emily (Julianne Moore) announces that she wants a divorce. Cal doesn't put up a fight; he just leaves. Spending most nights in a trendy bar, he meets Jacob (Ryan Gosling -- hello!), who is a modern day dandy, for lack of a better term. In the entire movie, the only time we see a woman turn down Jacob's nightly offer of "let's get out of here" is when Hanna (Emma Stone) does it. So, Jacob has game. Cal wants game. Jacob decides to help Cal get game.

One makeover and lots of alcohol later, Cal has had luck with a few women from the bar and found his swagger. The problem is, it's not making him happy. He misses his wife. He wants his old life back (but he seems to like the new clothes, which is a plus) so much so that he sneaks to his old house in the middle of the night to take care of the lawn.

Things get dodgy when one of the women Cal has slept with turns out to be his 13-year-old son's English teacher. This gets revealed publicly, which is awful. Still, it's clear that Cal and Emily care for each other. Otherwise it wouldn't hurt so bad, right?

Things get romantic when Hannah comes out of the blue to accept Jacob's offer after her boyfriend says he's not sure how seriously he feels about her. Instead of jumping right in the sack like she wants, Hannah and Jacob spend the evening getting to know each other and Jacob admits that he's completely unhappy with his life.

After a few weeks of being MIA, Jacob calls Cal to say he's met a girl who's a "game-changer." Hannah takes Jacob to meet her family. Guess who her family is? That's right, Cal and Emily.

There's a whole sub-story with the 13-year-old son, Robbie, having an epic crush on his babysitter and the babysitter having an epic crush on Cal. That business was my only gripe about this movie -- even though those scenarios produced the most comedy, I didn't care.

The reason this movie works is because it doesn't portray love as this perfect thing. It's messy, and backwards, and hopeless, and sometimes awful. But it's also exciting, and beautiful, and hopeful, and sometimes awesome. It's complicated and yet so clear at the same time. It's hard work and taking a risk. It'll make you crazy and stupid, but in the end you'll see it's probably worth it.

Fortune says...

"Focus on trusting your intuition and you will get through it."

Movie Review: "Cowboys & Aliens"

I wasn't expecting very much from this movie, but I guess some part of me thought Jon Favreau was awesome enough to make a ridiculous-sounding movie at the very least fun and, you know, have a plot. But no. No, no. It's just ridiculous.

It starts reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaally slowly, then about halfway through there's a twist that's just kind of stupid, and along the way there are two conflicts that are supposed to be serious but instead feel like the screenwriter just needed to crank out extra pages. And the end is predictable slash boring.

The one piece of silver lining: There's lots of Daniel Craig and some Sam Rockwell to ogle. And they're wearing cowboy duds and cowboys are ALWAYS hot (unless they're playing football, in which case they are usually a disappointment. Looking at you, Tony Romo.)

Wait for this one to come out on DVD and then rent it from your nearest Red Box for $1. I was annoyed at the matinee money I spent on my ticket today.

I take it back, again

I LOVE when people make me eat my words, and it's happened twice with the casting choices for "The Hunger Games" movies.

I didn't think Jennifer Lawrence could pull off Katniss, but when I saw her in costume with the dark hair, I was sold.

However, I was still skeptical about the actors chosen for Gale (Liam Hemsworth) and Peeta (Josh Hutcherson.) I take it back, again.



They look exactly right! (And all of these assessments on my part have been based solely on looks. I'm sure they're all excellent actors.) I'm getting more and more excited about these movies!

I pride myself in being knowledgeable of and having good instincts about things relating to movies. But, I have to say, "The Hunger Games" team has proven me wrong twice now and I love, love, love it!

Book Review: "Thirteen Reasons Why"

Jay Asher's debut novel is a YA suspense/drama that I would have read in one sitting if I hadn't started it late last night and needed to pause for sleep.

The story centers around Hannah Baker, a teenager who committed suicide by swallowing a bunch of pills. Before she took her own life, though, she made a set of tapes that speak about and directly to people and events that affected her along the way. Some negative, some positive, but in the end, everything affects everything.

The instructions Hannah gives at the beginning of the first tape (each tape is dedicated to a person) are for the people to listen all the way through the set and, when they're done, to pass them along to the next person in the sequence. There is a second set of tapes that exist, and the person keeping them has been instructed to release them publicly if any of the people on the list don't follow the instructions. Clay Jensen, who always had a crush on Hannah and spent a little time with her when they both spent a summer working at a movie theater together, is number nine.

Clay has no idea why he's on the tapes and after hearing the first few of them, begins to question every interaction he'd ever had with Hannah, wondering if something he said or did contributed to her decision to kill herself. On top of his panic at that idea, he learns a lot of things he never wanted to know about his classmates and about Hannah herself.

The text switches back and forth between Hannah's recorded voice and Clay's internal (and sometimes external) reactions. It's a very clever presentation. I've read plenty of books written in the format of letters, but I think this might be the first I've read written in the format of a tape. It's essentially the same, but there's something about imagining the actual voice on the other end that makes it a little more... real?

Everything affects everything. (The copy of the book I got from the library was signed by the author, who wrote that line with his signature.) It's not fair or realistic to expect people to always be on eggshells, wondering if every little thing they say or do will kick off a series of events, butterfly effect style, that could lead to a tragedy. But, it's also not fair to assume that the things we say or do don't have weight. Perhaps a good rule of thumb should be to think before we speak or act. Oh. Right. We're supposed to do that already.

I've been on a YA kick recently, but this one could easily read as an adult novel. Let's face it, though -- what better time to identify with the feeling that your life is over than in high school?

Coincidentally (or not, depending on how you feel the Universe works) as I signed on the computer to type this review, the first thing I saw online was the news of Amy Winehouse's death. There's a person who was screaming for help. And people were on hand to give it to her. How many times was she in and out of treatment? How many times did fans show up to concerts, hoping they would be the ones to witness her comeback? How many times did her parents defend her in the media? Perhaps there are just some people who are beyond any help they could get, and when a person is that far gone, I don't know if a tragic result is anybody's fault. But I guess the answer to that is Amy's to keep. Unless she left something for us to listen to.

Oh, right: "I ain't got the time, and if my daddy thinks I'm fine, they'll try to make me go to rehab, I won't go go go."

Why I love Harry Potter

Besides the fact that it's a kick ass story, I love Harry Potter for the same reason that a generation (or two, by now) does: It got them to read.

I was a huge reader when I was a kid. HUGE. I knew exactly when the next Sweet Valley High book was coming out and made my parents take me to BookStop (old school!) to get it on the first day. I owned everything by Judy Blume. I read, and re-read, and re-read and to this day re-read the Little House series. I even had kid versions of the classics like Little Women and Call of the Wild that helped me know what was going on when I eased into the true versions.

In high school, reading became a requirement, which automatically makes it less fun. I still enjoyed (most) of the books, but doing dialectical notebooks for each one was a time suck and a pain in the ass.

~~We now interrupt this blog entry to explain what a dialectical notebook, or DN, is: While reading a book, you write a quote or passage from the book onto the left side of your page, and then on the right explain that quote or passage's significance. Minimum of 3 entries per chapter.~~

The only stuff I remember reading for pure fun in high school was Jane Austen.

In college I dropped reading altogether. This includes my textbooks, for the most part. College was when I went through my whole existential crisis, though, so at least there's a reason.

After I graduated, I just... didn't read.

Here's where Harry Potter comes in.

I had seen all the movies and thought they were really fun. The world fascinated me. I felt like a kid when I watched them. So, in 2007 when Deathly Hallows was published, I decided I'd order the complete Potter set of books and read them straight through. (I maintain that this was the best way to do it. I would have gone insane waiting years between books.)


It took me about six weeks to finish (I read the last half of Hallows in one sitting.) And a magical -- pun intended -- thing happened: I fell in love with reading again.

Now I have a little baby library in my apartment and a regular queue of book hold requests at the library. I borrow from and loan to friends. I can go to the movies and see a set of previews and know exactly what's happening because I've read the books already. (This drives my sister bananas, which makes it that much more fun.) :)

Not only am I now (again) an insatiable reader, I think all this reading is making me a better writer as well. That, I hope, will prove to be invaluable. And I have Jo Rowling to thank for it.

Other people will be emotional about the Potter era coming to a close this week for various reasons, but for me it's more than just the story or the end of an era. It's letting go a little bit of the thing that reignited my mind and spirit and imagination in the most wonderful way. Thanks for that, Jo.

But, as Rowling herself said at the London premiere, we don't have to be sad: "The stories we love stay with us. Whether you come back on the page or on the screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home."

Movie Review: "Super 8"

Movies that were awesome when I was a kid:

"ET"
"The Goonies"
The "Back to the Future" Series
Everything done by John Hughes
"Hook"
"The Newsies"
"3 Ninjas"
"The Mighty Ducks" Series
"The Sandlot"
"Jurassic Park"
"Now and Then"
"Clueless" (which then led me into other high school-related movies of the '90s, but that's for another post.)

What did everything before "Clueless" have in common? Smart ass kids who weren't attached some electronic device (except for those dorky kids in "Jurassic Park," but I can let that one slide) and who found themselves in a predicament that few if any adults could understand. There was also usually some kind of big adventure or big mystery. And there was also usually the influence of Steven Spielberg.

"Super 8" has all of that. It's awesome. AWESOME. It's set in a small Ohio town in '79. The newest form of technology is the Walkman, which the sheriff hilariously warns is a "slippery slope." That sheriff is probably the old man who keeps calling me at work and asking for random information because "not everyone owns a computer, young lady."

Anyway, these middle school-aged friends spend their summer making a movie on a Super 8 camera, and just happen to witness and accidentally film a train crash. But it's no ordinary train crash. The cargo (which goes missing) is something that the military is in town to retrieve, but they can't talk about it with the locals. So, who takes it upon themselves to figure out what the hell is going on and save the day? The kids, of course!

Remember when you watched these kinds of movies and were totally swept away by them? It will happen again while you watch this. Maybe it's because of the nostalgic setting (I don't know if this storyline would play if it was set in modern day) or that the sarcastic comments and cursing is reminiscent of youth, when you just loved to say the word shit more than almost any other. Maybe it's because these kids look like normal, age-appropriate kids and not some perfect Disneybot.

Whatever it is, watch "Super 8" and it will take you right back to your middle school days. (The fun ones, not the awkward horrible ones.)

Oh, and Spielberg produced. Mint!

Tarot reading

A few days ago I had my first ever Tarot reading done by a woman in my book club who learned how to do it while she was living in Saudi Arabia. I've never done anything like this before. Never been to a psychic or a palm reader (although this same woman dabbled in palm reading and told me, based on some line in my hand, that I am very passionate and will have at least one child. Ok.)

We went with a six-question circle, which looked like this:

[6Q]

[5T] [1R]

[4H] [2F]

[3C]

Code
Card 1 is about relationships
2 is finances
3 is career
4 is health
5 is travel
6 is querant, the card that sort of wraps the others up into an all-encompassing idea

More lingo
Dignified means the card was facing me when flipped over. Ill-dignified means it was facing away from me (this can sometimes -- but not necessarily always -- mean something negative.)

A lot of the reading was based on what I saw when I looked at the card, so it was art-specific. I couldn't find images of the cards my friend used, and I didn't take pictures, so I'll describe the best I can.

1. Relationships
I got the Ten of Cups, ill-dignified. The cups were spread across the card and filled with water, and there were streams of water and bridges that connected them. The water and connectivity were the first things I noticed.

Meaning: It could mean that I have a lot of relationships in my life that are fulfilling and important to me. I feel the connection to each, and the connections between them. It being ill-dignified could suggest that it's something I worry about losing, or the exact opposite -- that I'm not worried about it at all, therefore it's not high on my radar. (I do worry that I don't have more strong friendships than I do, but I'm confident in the ones that are strong. Also strong are my family connections. No romantic relationship at the moment, but I'm not worried about that.)

2. Finances
I got the Page of Cups, ill-dignified. The page was standing in a field, holding a goblet with his eyes closed and a little smile on his face. He seemed to listening and/or waiting for something or someone.

Meaning: Perhaps he's waiting for the start of something new. Ill-dignified could mean that it's something I've already done, or something I'm about to do, or that I'm not worried about it. (This one was significant. For the past month I've put myself on a fairly strict budget to pay off my credit card. I've already started, and hopefully in the end I'll be fulfilled by not having debt.)

3. Career
I got the Five of Wands, ill-dignified. Five men seem to be fighting each other or competing somehow using big clubs that look like tree branches. A smaller man is standing in the middle of all this with his hands on his hips, smiling like he's enjoying the spectacle. I figure they're doing it for his benefit.

Meaning: Career-wise, this could mean that I feel like I'm in the middle of work competition and vying to impress the folks in charge. Ill-dignified, it could mean that I don't care about all that. (At my current job, I certainly don't care about all that. But in my career as a writer, I know it's going to feel very competitive when it comes time to shop my book to agents and publishers. Multiple meanings!)

4. Health
I got the Four of Swords, dignified. A man is sitting in a tee-pee made out of the four swords and a cloth. He looks desperate and in pain, on his knees and reaching up toward the sky, like he's begging a higher power for help. He's isolated from the village that's in the distance behind him.

Meaning: It could mean that I'm struggling with something and struggling on my own, and that I need help. Dignified, it could mean that I've accepted this and have taken matters into my own hands to solve the problem. (This was HUGE for me. I've made no secret with my weight struggle, which I do feel isolated in handling. This card was the only one that faced me when I flipped it over. The Universe was telling me to pay attention and do something about it already. Also, the day after this reading, my sister called me with some worrying health news of her own. Was the card an omen? I think her call was another moment where they Universe smacked me on the back of the head and said, "See?")

5. Travel
I got the Three of Coins, ill-dignified. The card had three gold coins on the left side and what looked like a marble or stone statue of an artist standing on a pedestal on the right.

Meaning: It could be that it takes an investment, monetary or creative, to get to the point of reverence, like the artist. Someone thought enough of him to make a statue of him. Ill-dignified, it could mean that this level of fulfillment is not within my reach yet, or that I've rejected it. (This card confused me. I didn't really feel anything from it, which I take to mean that I'm not too worried about whether I'm ever revered or not. I think the journey will be the exciting part, whether or not I'm revered at the end is insignificant to me.)

6. Querant
I got the Queen of Coins, ill-dignified. She's sitting on her throne with her head tossed back in a laugh and one arm tossing a coin into the air. She has different objects at her feet and is wearing an expensive-looking gown. She looks comfortable and relaxed. It could be interpreted that she's flaunting her wealth and position, but I don't think she can be bothered to care about the impression she gives. She's too happy.

Meaning: This being the Querant card was almost like seeing what I have to look forward to. It being ill-dignified could mean that I don't have the confidence of the Queen's security yet, or that I don't think I'll get it. (Can I just say how satisfying it was that my overall Querant card was a Queen? AWESOME. I definitely don't have the confidence of her security or prosperity yet, so ill-dignified makes total sense.)

It means something if you get more of one suit (coins, cups, swords, wands) than others, but since mine was fairly even it suggests that I have balance in my life. I guess that's true. All but one of the cards being ill-dignified could mean that I'm not sweating any of those things at the moment, which is also true. I let most stuff roll right off my back. The Health card being the only dignified, like I said, was a big deal for me. I think that's what I need to pay attention to, and the rest will work itself out.

I had the BEST time with this. I want to learn how to do it. Maybe my friend will take me under her wing and teach me. I'll be interested to see how the cards fall next time.

There's good news and there's bad news

Bad news first (always).

Remember way back when Gayle Forman's "If I Stay" was published and I mentioned that I was upset about it because I'd had an idea for a book that was basically the same thing and she'd beat me to it?

Well. It happened again.

Sort of.

I give you: "Tempest."

While perusing Entertainment Weekly dot com, I came across this article.

This brand spanking new author Julie Cross has written a YA book with a time travel fantasy element. It's supposed to be full of excitement and danger and angst and drama and love story.

Guess what I have 21,000 words written of? Yep. Basically the same thing.

So that's the bad news.

The good news is this: Mine is better. (I really don't know this because all I've read is what's in that story, but based on that tiny bit of info, I say mine's better.)

Also good news: I'm not discouraged. I'm in fact encouraged because mine is different enough to be part of what could be a time travel trend and still be unique. I'm not super thrilled that now it's going to look like I'm riding coattails (assuming it gets any attention at all), but Dianna had a very good point -- this woman might have just made it easier for me to be paid attention to.

"If I Stay" was entirely too close to my idea for me to even develop it further. Maybe one day I can adapt my concept and try again. "Tempest" feels like something different. A launching pad? A gateway? I don't know for sure quite yet, but I'm going to stay positive and keep the thought that Julie Cross has done me an incredible favor and one day I'll have to thank her for it. :)

Also, in a moment of ego, can I just say that it's pretty cool that ideas I've come up with independently have been taken seriously by agents and publishers and a reading audience? I know I'm not the one having the success, but it feels like I'm on the right track. :)

Cosmo's flirting tips, a.k.a Ways for Stefanie to Feel Like a Jackass

While I was waiting for my car's oil to be changed I picked up the Cosmo that was on the coffee table and came across these ridiculous, I mean "irresistible," flirting techniques. Let's discuss:

Give him a long once-over from head to toe, then bring your eyes back up to his. Smile ever so slightly to let him know you like what you see.
Ppppfffffff.

Pull your hair loose from a ponytail holder or clip so he can watch your touchable tresses fall around your face.
No. If my hair is up, it's because it's hot and/or unmanageable that day. I would only scare a guy away if I unleashed the mane in those conditions.

Cross your legs and slowly move your top foot in circles. His eyes will be drawn to your gorgeous gams since men are used to focusing on movement.
I think this is called Restless Leg Syndrome.

Grin and hold his gaze for three seconds. Then bite the corner of your lip and look down.
So, like, one... two... three... and THEN bite, or one... two... and bite on three? (Sarcasm.)

While conversing with a cutie, lean in so you're about six inches from his face. Linger for three counts, then slowly return to your original position.
Hahahaha! That's not creepy at all.

Rub your shoulder like you have a painful crick, then gently sigh. Not only will he find this extremely sexy, but you might even score a massage.
I've done this genuinely before and never got a massage out of it. No feedback on the sexiness, either.

Walk past him, then slowly swivel your head halfway toward him, rest your chin on your shoulder and smile. This asymmetrical pose shows that he's hot enough to literally turn heads.
Oh, good Lord.

During conversation, touch his knee or hand for emphasis.
His knee??? WHY? Are we talking about his high school sports injuries?

As a hottie brushes by you, stop him in his tracks by saying, "Wow, you smell great."
If this is true, I have no problem saying it. I loves me some good cologne. :)

While standing in line, inquire if he thinks it's worth the wait.
If what's worth the wait? (Probably the actual response he'd give.)

Pull out a copy of the Kama Sutra from your bag and say, "Would you be interested in joining my book club?"
THIS would be HILARIOUS!

Stroll over to a bored boy and inform him that you're from social search-and-rescue. Your mission? To save him from a dull night.
Womp, womp, wooooooooooooooomp.

Compliment him with "You look athletic. What sports do you play?"
"Where do you work out?" makes more sense because then you can show up at that place and see him there. Duh.

Tell him he looks so much like a friend of yours that you just had to say hello.
This is awkward, but it might actually get a conversation started.

Proclaim that you're thinking about changing your name. Then say with a smile, "Do I strike you as more of a Sienna or a Bambi?"
What. The. Fuck.

Wander over to him at a coffee shop or bookstore with the event-listings section of the paper and ask for his suggestion on a fun activity.
Ha! This is a funny suggestion for many reasons. =)

At a clothing store, tell him the shirt or pants he's considering buying would look amazing on him.
Why the hell am I shopping at a men's store??

Say that you're trying out a new perfume, then hold out your wrist or expose your neck and ask his opinion.
I believe I've done this one before. It's not a bad ice-breaker.

Guys love to hear their names — throw his into conversation a couple of times, and he'll know you're into him.
Oh, you mean I should acknowledge the person I'm having a conversation with? Whoda thunk?

Make the most of a loud room and lean in close. Then whisper conversation in his nerve-packed ears.
I mean, if it's loud, how else are you supposed to talk?

Ask him if it's hot (or cold) in the room and put his hands on your cheeks or neck for a temperature check.
I am not his mother.

Ask your studly neighbor to stop by and help you move something heavy or change a lightbulb you can't reach. Then repay his services with a beer.
Well that's just neighborly.

Here's the thing: I'm all for attempting to flirt, but the situation has to be somewhat genuine or else I feel completely stupid. I'm not going to just execute a stupid pick-up line to a complete stranger.

A guy will know I'm into him when I listen to what he has to say, ask questions, laugh at his jokes (good or bad) and tell him that I'm having fun. The rest is really just bullshit.

Book Review: "The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society"

It's a mouthful, isn't it?

This book by aunt/niece team Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows is about a writer in WWII-era London named Juliet Ashton. She's on the search for a subject for a new book and can't seem to find inspiration anywhere.

She randomly receives a letter from a man named Dawsey Adams who lives on the small English Channel island of Guernsey. Dawsey has come into possession of one of Juliet's old books and the two start up a friendly correspondence. He reveals that he's a member of the GLAPPPS (how I will refer to it from now on, thank you very much). Juliet wants to know more. The next thing you know, all the members of the society are sending her letters.

The characters in this book are all charming, even the unlikeable Mark Reynolds, who tries to sweep Juliet off her feet. Their stories of their lives during German Occupation are harrowing, fascinating and heartbreaking. Juliet thinks so, too, and wants to share them (eureka!) in the form of her next book.

Juliet goes to the island to meet the people she's made friends with via snail mail. She becomes one of their own. In the end, she finds out that when you're not looking, you find the thing you were searching for. (And it's usually not what you expected it to be.)

My only qualm about this book is the format. Every single word is told by correspondence: Letters, telegrams, notes, found diary entries. It's too gimmicky for me. The worst part was that as soon as I'd get consumed in one person's voice and point of view, the letter would end and one from a completely different character would be next. It was like starting all over. It was jarring.

How does a group come to call themselves the GLAPPPS, you might ask? Guernsey because it's where they are. Literary because they invented a book club (and then had to really become a book club) when caught out after curfew by German soldiers. Potato peel pie because when all the rest of the food was gone, potato peels were all they had left to eat.

It sounds a lot more pleasant without the explanation, doesn't it?

5 foods I won't share with anyone

I totally hijacked this post subject. See the original piece here.

This is somewhat difficult, because the food I love the most is the food that's served on a grand scale: My dad's barbecue, my grandma's chicken mole, my family's tamales... all made in mass quantities to feed the dozens of us who gather for the occasion.

These are generic answers, but they're all I can think of:

1. Fries/tots

It drives me bananas when people pick fries or tots off my plate. I never let them know, because I certainly don't need to eat them all myself, but my instinct is to slap their hands away. MINE.

2. Milkshakes

If I shell out the extra $3-$6 for a quality milkshake, no, you cannot have a sip. Instead you have to endure watching me have the whole thing AND listen to the yummy noises I make while doing so.

3. Popcorn

I don't get this at the movies that often anymore, but when I do I want my own bag. There's something so gross about multiple people reaching their grubby fingers into a community bag.

4. Salad

This seems like a silly one, but there is logic at work: Odds are, if I've ordered this I'm going to be hungry again in about an hour. Please let me eat it all, and don't judge me for scraping up the last scraps of toppings, either. Hungry Stefanie is not fun.

5. Sushi

Same reasoning as salad. Anybody who claims to be full off of one roll is LYING. I always order sushi with either spring rolls or edemame or something to help fill me up. So, no, I will not share.

Halfway there

I'm about halfway done with my novel's first draft. Just thought you'd like to know. :)

Book Review: "The Handbook for Lightning Strike Survivors"

Every six or so months, my company has a giant book sale. Books come by the crate to our office, and the majority of them, I'd guess, go unread. I think some of the employees also donate books from home. They pile up in boxes in the office so that just before we move them to the sale space it looks like a band of children has built a fort to play in.

The sale is always a hit. Almost every book is priced at $1 and the proceeds go to various charitable, writing-related causes. (Part of this sale's proceeds are going to my cause -- the capital campaign for my college student newspaper. Yay!)

The point of telling you all that is that since the books are so cheap I feel I can choose one without knowing anything about it. I picked this one for the title alone.

It's the debut novel of Michele Young-Stone, who actually survived a lightning strike. The story flip-flops between Becca Burke, who is struck twice growing up, and Buckley Pitank, who has indirectly suffered the consequences of a strike and wishes to be directly struck to know what it's like. Interspersed with their stories are excerpts from the handbook itself (written, we come to find, by Buckley.)

Becca and Buckley's lives are connected but they don't discover it until they're both adults. The fun part of the book is knowing the connection before they do and waiting for them to find it.

The serious part of the book isn't about lightning at all. It's about these characters and how they shape their futures. They are special people, but it takes them a while to accept that. When they do, and when they finally figure out how to use what they've experienced over the course of their lives to their advantage, they realize that they've ended up exactly where they were always supposed to be.

It's a little formulaic, but I think for a first novel it's damn good. The characters are rich. The story is compelling enough to keep the pages turning. The ending is satisfying.

And it was only $1.

The hot dog story

I can't sleep. :(

Today someone referred to the hot dog story, which is everyone's favorite story of mine from my movie theater assistant manager days. I now share it with you.

So this older guy (50s or 60s) comes up to the concession stand and orders a hot dog. The person working the register gives him one from the warmer. He opens it up, touches it, says it's not hot enough and asks for another.

The cashier tells the supervisor, who I guess tries to tell the guy that they're all going to be the same, to no avail, because then she calls for me. I go over and tell him what they've already told him. He asks if it can at least be microwaved.

I tell the supervisor to get the microwave from the back and zap it. She's carrying the microwave to plug it in and drops it on the ground. Of course it doesn't work after that.

I go back to the customer and tell him the microwave is busted but there's a batch of hot dogs coming off of the grill and would he like one of those? He says yes.

I make it myself and do it so he can see me. I get a fresh bun, get the hot dog directly off of the grill and assemble it. I hand it to him. He opens the container again and feels it. He says it's not hot enough.

THEN HE GRABS MY HAND AND PUTS IT ON THE HOT DOG. "Does that feel hot to you?"

So. Much. Ew.

I was so mad, I made a fist and ruined the hot dog. Pieces of it squeezed through my clenched fingers. I raised my voice and told him that was the hottest hot dog he could get and if that wasn't good enough he could have his money back. As I was yelling, I rang up the refund and threw his cash on the counter in front of him. Then I stormed away without waiting for a reply.

I have so many stories about my time there, and almost all of them are something along the lines of me getting intense with customers, which I could have gotten in trouble for.

But dude, seriously. Don't fucking touch me. And don't fucking make me touch your hot dog.

Is college a waste?

It sounds to me like this guy just couldn't hack it.

Look, nobody was more lost, confused and discouraged in college than me. There I was, a high school honor student who never had to exert myself academically (except for AP English, which required actual brain cells) facing a full load of brain cell-required classes.

Even so, the academics weren't what ruined me. It was the real world, the individual freedom I had in college that I'd never had before. I'd always been part of something. I had a safety net. People to keep tabs on me and consequences for my actions. All of that went away when I went to college, and I went a little nuts. Having freedom when you've never had it before can be a dangerous thing.

When I dropped out after 2 years, it was because I was completely disoriented and was only wasting my time and my parents' money trying to figure it out. I needed to take a step back, focus and maybe try again. It took 2 years for me to go back. In those 2 years I worked my minimum wage jobs and did whatever else I wanted. And you know what? It felt empty.

When I went back, I eased in, starting part-time. Then I got involved in different organizations that not only gave me something of a support system, but also experience outside of the classroom. I realized I could learn from every situation I was in, and suddenly my life seemed to calm down and start making a little sense.

I get this guy's theory: No, a classroom education isn't going to provide all the knowledge a person needs to make it in the real world. But the academic side (especially for us liberal arts majors) is the very least of what we take away from the college experience. It's meeting and learning how to communication with different types of people. It's learning how to absorb information and analyze it on our own. It's having experts and research materials within arm's reach for a brief time, which will never come again (unless we go to grad school, which I have considered.) It's having opportunities to try things we'd never tried before without major consequences if we fail. And that's because even if we fail, we learn something.

A degree doesn't just represent academic achievement. It represents eagerness, willingness, readiness and most of all perseverance. That is what college is all about.

Book Review: "A Visit From the Goon Squad"

Jennifer Egan's Pulitzer-winning novel is hard to review because there are so many specifics in it that it's impossible to explain one part without needing to explain all the parts.

If I had to define what it's about, I'd say it's about growing up, changing and revisiting your past as a stranger.

Each chapter is told in a different character's point of view, and along the way we learn how the characters' stories are connected. This has been done before, but these characters are all so vibrant that it doesn't feel tired. There's also a really unique chapter presented in the form of slides a la PowerPoint. You wouldn't think you'd take away as much information or even the essence of the character from that kind of presentation versus a written chapter, but you do. (Don't tell my employers, who are currently obsessed with iPads and web site traffic and seem to have forgotten that their core product is a written publication.)

The last chapter is unsettling because it seems to take place in a time ahead, where almost all communication is reduced to "text speak" and human-to-human interaction is even less genuine than it is now. In this futuristic digitized world (unsettling because it doesn't seem far-fetched), an event occurs that is one of those "Do you remember where you were when..." moments. It rocks people (that is an excellent pun, if you've read it) to their core and sort of snaps them out of their digital fog for a second. It makes them remember what a person is capable of, as opposed to the capabilities of technology.

I think that's what Egan was trying to get across all along: No matter how advanced we think we are, we are humans first. And that alone makes us awesome.

Movie Review: "Bridesmaids"

"It's supposed to be like the female version of 'The Hangover.' "

Why did people ever say this? It definitely is not.

The movie is about Annie (Kristen Wiig), whose best friend Lilly (Maya Rudolph) is getting married and has asked Annie to be her maid of honor. Annie's happy for her friend, but seeing her friend so happy only further sharpens the contrast of Annie's own unhappiness. (She's lost her business, been dumped, is sleeping with an asshole who treats her like shit, has to live with two terrible roommates, works at a job she hates and has to deal with her half-crazy mom.)

The other women in the bridal party are Lilly's cousin Rita (the blonde chick from Reno 911), her Disney-obsessed coworker Becca (played by the chick who plays Erin on The Office), Lilly's future sister-in-law Megan (played by scene-stealer Melissa McCarthy, real-life cousin of Jenny McCarthy) and Lilly's fiance's boss's wife... got that?... Helen (played by Rose Byrne.)

The comedy comes in when Helen tries to take over maid of honor duties to outshine Annie, and Annie retaliates. And if you're into bathroom humor, oh boy, do you get the mother of all uncontrollable poop/puke scenes.

So, yeah, I guess the fact that the plot surrounds a wedding and there's some raunch and nastiness makes it Hangover-ish, but the core difference is that this movie was written by women and shows how a woman's mind works. (Guys. Pay attention.)

Women are always a little bit sad. There. I said it.

There are obvious things, like not fulfilling their career dreams or being dumped or feeling trapped in a bad relationship because they don't think they can do any better.

But there are also other things, like not feeling like you have true friends or not feeling like you can trust even the good guys after being treated so shittily by the bad ones.

I think that's as far as a man will follow, but watch out, fellas, there's another layer:

Desperately missing the naivety and hopefulness of your childhood.

Heartbreak of letting go of a bit of your individual identity to have a future with someone.

Guilt at replacing things that used to be the most important with things that are now important.

"Bridesmaids," under the hilarity and nonsense, gives us all of that. Men might not see past the poop and the puke and the obvious, but women will feel all the layers. So the tears might not be 100% from laughter.

Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen

When Jennifer Lawrence was announced as the actress to play Katniss Everdeen in the movie adaptations of The Hunger Games series (here's my write up on the books), I had a problem with it. Not because I don't think she can act the role. Because, well, look at her!





She's a freakin' bombshell! Katniss is dark and semi-starved and kind of a badass. Still, I decided to hold off on full judgement until actually seeing the movie.


Then, Entertainment Weekly put Lawrence as Katniss on their cover.




I take back any reservations I had. She looks awesome. (Still not completely sold on Josh Hutcherson as Peeta or Liam Hemsworth as Gale, but maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised there, too.) The movie is still in production, but I'm really looking forward to seeing it when it comes out. :)

Book Review: "Where She Went"

Last year, I read Gayle Forman's "If I Stay," the story of Mia Hall and her internal battle to decide whether or not to live after her family is in a horrific car accident. (Here's my review.) Forman just released the follow-up, which I guess spoils what Mia's decision at the end of "If I Stay" was. She stayed.

Five years later, we're in New York City with Adam Wilde, Mia's boyfriend from "If I Stay," who is now a rock star, dating a Hollywood actress and spiraling into major drug- and alcohol-induced train wreck status. Mia is nowhere.

Except she is. We see, via Adam's memories/flashbacks, what happened to his and Mia's relationship after the accident and during her recovery. We see Adam's rise to stardom. We see how even though Mia's not physically in his life anymore, she is in his every thought, dream and song (thanks to lyrics from the band's album, which could only be about Mia and which Forman includes at the beginnings of some of the chapters.)

Then, lo and behold, there is Mia in the flesh. She spends all night with Adam, catching up, reminiscing and getting down to brass tacks on what actually happened between them. I won't give away whether or not they reunite. You'll have to read it to find out.

One of my complaints about "If I Stay" was Forman's excessive references to bands, music and the cool kids who know about those things. There was much less of that in this book, and I appreciated that. I also appreciate the way she writes dialogue. It's very true to life.

I like Mia and Adam, and if Forman wanted to, she could figure out a way to continue their story. If she did, I'd be okay with it. If she doesn't, these two books can stand alone and leave the reader satisfied.

Book & Movie Review: "Jane Eyre"

I haven't read Jane Eyre since high school. I remember being afraid when I read the parts with the mysterious laughter and the ghost-like woman drifting through the halls. I remember being horrified that that woman turned out to be the insane wife of Mr. Rochester, who was supposed to be in love with Jane. I remember being pissed, then, that he planned to dupe Jane into an illegal marriage without ever telling her that he was already married. Never once did I believe it was a love story. My head kept saying "Get out of there, Jane. He's awful. You can do better." My heart agreed.

I guess perspective comes with age. This time around, I sympathized with Mr. Rochester. He was duped into a dishonest marriage with the crazy lady, and all he wanted was a chance a real life with a woman he really loved. Because he did really love Jane. His actions are still terrible, but I can understand them.

When Jane leaves him, the high school Stefanie thought she made the exact right choice and that she should forget about him. Adult Stefanie agreed that it was the right choice, but damn if I didn't want her to go back.

Love stories in high school are boy meets girl, boy does some jackass thing that ruins the relationship, girl leaves boy even though she still loves him, boy executes some grand gesture to win girl back, girl forgives and they go to prom.

Love stories in the adult world are very very different. There are no formulaic plots (except for romantic comedies, which have a funny line or two, if they're lucky, but mostly suck). Jane Eyre is an adult love story that I never fully appreciated until now.

A new movie adaptation is in theaters now, starring Mia Wasikowska as Jane and Michael Fassbender as Mr. Rochester. Oh and Judi Dench is the maid because if it's a British period movie, Judi Dench is contractually obligated to appear.

The movie was lovely. Mia and Michael have great chemistry together (my favorite scene is when she's telling him she's leaving him. Holy guacamole that is an intense moment. Jane is a strong woman. I probably would have caved). I really believe that they love each other and I really really wanted her to go back.

Of course she does go back. When she gets there she sees that there's been a terrible fire and learns that Crazy Mrs. Rochester died in it and Severely Depressed Mr. Rochester almost did, too. (This is always hilarious: In the book, Rochester has one eye knocked out of his head and the other is burned up, plus he has a hand amputated after it was crushed by a beam. Not a pretty picture. In the movie, Rochester is indeed blind but still has both his eyes, and he also sports a shaggy beard. That's the extent of the damage. Can't have him getting TOO ugly, I guess?)

English teachers would point out the significance of Rochester being handsome in the beginning but plagued with an unattractive soul full of secrets and compare it to his physical decline in the end, albeit with a cleansed soul. Then they'd point out that Jane loved him before his ailments, and that she loved him just as much after them. The moral of the story, kids? You can't choose who you love, but you can choose how you let them love you. And that's the adult Stefanie, who finally figured that out, speaking.

P.S. - You can pay full price admission for this one. It's worth it.

Movie review: "Water for Elephants"

This is post 1 of 3 for tonight (I need to catch up and I feel super guilty for slacking so much lately).

Sara Gruen's novel "Water for Elephants" was one of my favorites from the many we've read in book club. (We read it before all the hype around it started, so that definitely helped, I think. Hype is the killer of good things.)

When I heard there was a movie adaptation coming, I had mixed feelings. They were 1. Yay! I love that book! It would be so awesome as a movie, and 2. Oh, God, I hope they don't fuck it up.

My hopes were not high when the primary three cast members were announced: Christoph Waltz as August, Reese Witherspoon as Marlena and Robert Pattinson as Jacob. The problem wasn't Christoph, who is a weirdo and needed to be for this role. Nor was it Robert, who I think is a decent actor and gets a bad rap because he's that vampire from that series a few people have heard of. Reese. Reese was the problem.

My exact first thought: She's too old for that part. Reese Witherspoon is, what... 34? 35? Whatever it is, it's NOT old. However, Marlena is supposed to be in her early 20s, which is part of the reason why her and August's relationship has such a chasm, and part of the reason why her and Jacob's relationship is so compatible. Reese cannot pull off early 20s. Sorry.

So, I went to the movie theater with really low expectations. I'm happy to say it was beautifully shot, Rosie (the elephant) is as adorable as you hope her to be, and the individual performances by Christoph, Robert and Reese were well done.

The problem, as I expected it to be, were the relationships between the characters. Christoph and Reese don't seem as wrong for each other as August and Marlena do in the book; and Robert and Reese don't seem as right for each other as Jacob and Marlena do in the book. What's the common denominator here? Reese.

They should've gone younger. Jennifer Lawrence has the exact right look (but no, she's hard at work as Katniss in "The Hunger Games" movie, another bit of casting I can't really get behind, but I'll reserve full judgement until I see the film.) Riley Keough would have worked, too. Candice Accola, even.

It boils down to this: Marlena is unhappy. She feels trapped. She honestly doesn't believe there's anything else in this life for her until Jacob shows up and suddenly there's a glimmer of the life she might be able to have. This is a dilemma a young woman, not a grown woman, would face. Young women sometimes need to be pointed in the right direction to escape their circumstances. Grown women have chosen to stay where they are. Marlena needs to be pointed. Reese chose to stay.

I really enjoyed the movie. I'm glad I saw it, but I'm also glad I paid matinee price.

Bus People

It's Daylight Savings, which means it stays lighter later and that means I ride the bus to work. It's awesome. I'm saving money on gas and downtown parking, I'm doing something good for the environment and I'm helping my car last just a little bit longer. I haven't ridden in a few months, though, so there was one thing I forgot about: Bus People.

Bus People are generally of the If-I-Look-Busy/Asleep/Anywhere but directly in the eyes-They'll-Leave-Me-Alone variety. There are a few, however, who break the mold.

Angry Man
Angry Man is short, balding and wearing a cheap suit, the jacket of which he's carrying with his bag and therefore revealing his horrible pit stains. He's angry because he's unhappy, but he seems angry because the bus didn't come exactly on time, or it's crowded, or the driver didn't respond to his sarcastic comment about the bus not coming on time. He makes exasperated noises during the ride and checks his watch or phone for the time whenever the bus pauses in traffic. This man needs an MP3 player or a book or a swift kick to the nuts. Remarkably, he's wearing a wedding ring.

The Bird Lady
The Bird Lady is the lady playing Angry Birds on her phone. She says "shit" whenever things are going wrong in her game, and loudly enough that people turn and look at her. She gives those people dirty looks, so if you do it, you have to play it off like you're looking out her window to the scenery beyond. This may or may not work. When she's given up on the game, she reaches into her bag and pulls out the National Geographic Guide to North American Birds. Yes, that book exists. And, yes, someone paid money for it. Amazingly, she's also wearing a wedding ring.

Angry Lady
Angry Lady puts her things in the seat next to her in the hopes that she'll not have to share space with anyone. She makes a face when that seat is the only one left and someone asks her if they can sit there. These people are only asking to be polite, as this bitch doesn't own the bus and therefore has no claim to any seat other than the one in which her ass is firmly planted. At the first sign of other seats opening up, she asks you to move over. You nestle further in exactly where you are. She'll hate that. You could also try to snooze a little and hope that you snore or drool or do that sleepy head bob thing in her direction just to piss her off a little more. Then you beat her to the door when you get to the end of the line.

Funny Guy
Funny Guy is not funny to most passengers because he will talk to his neighbors and break the silent status quo. Also, he's just not funny. But, it is amusing to see how the unamused react to him. His topics range from the environment ("If more people rode this bus it would be 40 cars off the road per ride"), to sex education ("If you don't use it, it'll shrivel up"), to film ("Did you see that movie with George Clooney and Catherine Zeta-Jones? It came out like eight years ago. You have to see it, it's so good!"), to not understanding the newfangled acronyms that kids these days use for everything ("What is FML? Oh, I thought that F might have been something dirty.") He sits in the back so his voice carries to the front. People turn and look at him in the hopes that their look will be the one to make him lower his voice. He will then make a comment about how nobody talks person to person anymore, which will earn him more looks.

Wal-Mart Guy
I ride the Express bus from the Wal-Mart on the North East side of town to downtown, which is a direct 13-mile ride on the highway. It's a commuter's route, and 90% of the people who use it work downtown. 9% are tourists who are headed downtown to sight see for the day. The other 1% is Wal-Mart Guy. He lives in some ghetto downtown place and rides the bus solely to shop at Wal-Mart. Everyone else is in business attire; this guy is in a sweaty, holey t-shirt. Yet, somehow, he's got a really nice phone, in which he plugs his earbuds and blasts rap or hard rock music so loudly that everyone can hear it clearly. The best rides are when he ends up next to Angry Lady.

And those people were just in the past 3 days. :)

I'm sorry!

But I've been writing! This is a good thing!

P.S. - I let Dianna read the first two chapters and she said, and I quote, "You're sitting on a gold mine."

:)

Guess what?

I've been writing. :) That is all.

Book review: "The Geography of Bliss"

This month's selection was the memoir by Eric Weiner, an NPR correspondent who was tired of reporting on war and conflict and decided to take some time to visit the countries that ranked top in a happiness study.

I'm usually not a big fan of non-fiction (it almost always feels like I'm reading a textbook and let me tell you, nothing puts me to sleep faster than reading a textbook) but this was a great read. Not only was the information interesting, but Weiner's style of writing was witty and fun. He had a few "I couldn't help but wonder..." Carrie Bradshaw-esque moments, but I just snorted and moved past them.

The book was great. I recommend it to everyone.

My favorite part is what Weiner sums up what he feels he's learned from his experience: "Money matters, but less than we think and not in the way that we think. Family is important. So are friends. Envy is toxic. So is excessive thinking. Beaches are optional. Trust is not. Neither is gratitude."

It was my turn to host this month, so I went with things that make me happy when it came to planning the menu: My Aunt Sylvia's cheese enchiladas, margaritas, watermelon, salad, chips and avocado. All that got trumped, though.

My friends. My wonderful, beautiful, amazing friends surprised me with a cake and champagne for a late birthday celebration. They sang to me and had me blow out candles and said sweet things in a champagne toast. I almost cried. I'm almost crying right now just thinking about it. Just a few posts back I was sad about not feeling like I have super close friends and then this happens. My book club is full of fantastic friends and I love them all so, so much.

Bliss for everyone!

"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."

I am newly obsessed with "Gone With the Wind." I'd never read the book before, so when I remembered I had a copy on the bookshelf I dove in. It took a few days because it's a damn long book. It would have taken longer if I hadn't skipped over the pages upon pages of description of landscape and dresses and war stats. I don't need to read an entire paragraph on the way the sun slants through the magnolia trees. It's the South. We love the South. I get it.

Scarlett O'Hara is a bitch, but you know what... I love her. And I love Rhett Butler, to the point of giving him a perch on a literary pedestal equal to that of Mr. Darcy. And it's going to drive me stark raving mad if I allow myself to continue wondering whether or not those two end up together. They have to. Right?? I mean, who else could either of them possibly be with? They just have to end up together. He has to give a damn. He just needs a little time and then they'll be ok. (I'm trying really hard not to curse Margaret Mitchell for not writing a sequel herself.)

Another confession: I haven't actually seen the movie in its entirety. Can you believe that? A movie buff like me?? I swear I thought I'd seen it, but I think I've just seen clips. A coworker let me borrow her copy as soon as I mentioned it, but I have yet to bring myself to watch it. I'm afraid I'll never recover.

I know I'm like 75 years late on this (only 30, if you just count the time I've been alive) but my God! I am obsessed. I want Rhett Butler. I love Scarlett despite her hatefulness. And I needed to get all that out in hopes that I'll be able to sleep tonight without thinking of Tara or Georgia or dashing men with mustaches - a look, I've decided, that Clark Gable and Clark Gable alone can pull off without looking ridiculous.

Thirty. 30. Treinta.

Well, here it is. The big 3-0. The day I'm supposed to have dreaded since I turned 20. I was doing great until a couple of weeks ago. Suddenly I'm overrun with thoughts and emotions about this day.

I think the reason it suddenly started to affect me is because at this point I thought I'd know more about myself and things in general than I do. In the interest of full disclosure, when I was a teenager I thought I'd be married and probably have kids by this time, too. I hope you believe me when I say that THAT is not what I'm thinking about. It really isn't.

I look ahead to my life starting tomorrow and I don't feel any more sure of what's going to happen than I did when I was 20 and looking ahead to my life. The more I thought about this, the more I realized that it's ok. Because I have, in fact, figured a few things out.

Here we go.

1. There's no use in being afraid of things. Fear will cripple you and keep you from what you want. The only thing to be afraid of is fear and what it can do. Try not to be intimidated or hesitant. Instead, just be. Things will work out.

2. Not knowing isn't a bad thing. There are so few surprises left in the world. Allow yourself to be surprised.

3. Stand up straight and don't look at your feet when you walk. You will feel strong.

4. It's ok to say no. And yes. It's ok to put your own needs in front of someone else's, just like it's ok to put theirs in front of yours. It's ok to let people in, and it's ok to kick them the fuck out if they deserve it. Trust your instincts and you'll never go wrong.

5. Do not lie. It kills you a little bit each time.

6. If you have something to say that you know is going to be upsetting, say it with compassion and diplomacy. Put thought into every word you speak, and people won't just hear you. They'll listen.

7. Be the bigger person. Always.

8. Making your hopes and dreams and wishes and desires known, allowing your emotions to be seen, admitting you don't know something... these things don't make you weak.

I'm looking forward to the 30s. I've said it before and I'll say it again -- I think it's going to be a good decade for me. Maybe I'll figure some more stuff out. Maybe I won't. I'm not going to worry about it because life isn't about answers and plans and definitions. The only consistent thing about it is it's inconsistency. It's a work in progress, as are the people living it. Take care of yourself, have patience and try to see the big picture. Live with purpose. These are my goals, and I welcome the life that happens along the way to reaching them.

25 more things

I'm still awake from the previous post, and I'm in a grouchy mood so I will write 25 things that make me happy to snap out of it.

1. Lady Gaga's wardrobe. Yes, even the meat dress.
2. "Glee"
3. "The Vampire Diaries"
4. The fact that the dancing Ellen Degeneres' audience does is mandatory. LOL!
5. Food trucks.
6. My new mattress.
7. Cooking.
8. Painting.
9. Writing.
10. Reading.
11. Bubble tea.
12. Being outdoors.
13. Dia de los Muertos art.
14. Entertainment Weekly.
15. Adele's new album. So, so, so good!
16. My nephew.
17. The word "pink." It's just fun to say.
18. Pedicures.
19. Sleep.
20. Seafood.
21. Watermelon. (Is it in season yet?)
22. Zachary Levi. HOT!
23. Going to the movies.
24. Live music.
25. The beach.

Easiest $5 I ever made

If you get a blue and white envelope in the mail from the Nielsen Company (the TV folks) don't throw it away! It's got something green inside!

Thanks, Nielsen Co., for buying my next bubble tea. :)

Also, see this (at least until the opening credits):



"So much power!"

Book Review: "Away"

Do you remember a while back when I reviewed two books by Marisa de los Santos ("Love Walked In" and "Belong to Me") and complimented her linguistic craftsmanship? She obviously takes great pleasure in playing with words and putting them together so well that reading them silently isn't enough. You want to say them out loud, and they are as much fun on your lips as a big pink bubble of gum.

I mentioned this to Dianna, who told me that one of her favorite language artists was Amy Bloom. Then, being the super cool friend she is, Dianna sent me (higher postage be damned) a copy of Bloom's "Away" and posted on her own blog that she would cyber-stalk me until I read it.

Well, I read it. Here we go:

"Away" is the story of Russian emigrant Lillian Leyb, who escapes to New York City after her parents and husband are murdered and her daughter vanishes and her home burns to the ground during a wave of Jewish persecution in the early part of the century. Physically, she couldn't be much further away from her past when she becomes mistress to the father-and-son proprietors of a Yiddish theater on the Lower East Side. Mentally/emotionally, her past is always with her and Bloom lets us know from the very first page that THAT is what is going to carry Lillian through the story.

Bloom does this through her artistry. The writing doesn't pack an obvious punch; it's very stream-of-thought, with otherwise-unnoteworthy observations and details strung together, and it's not until the end of the paragraph that you realize you've just read everything exactly as it is and exactly as you would have thought it yourself if you were in Lillian's shoes. Have you ever walked into someone's home for the first time, looked around and in a split-second have a feeling that you know so much more about that person based on the way they've decorated, or the smells coming from the kitchen, or the type of pet they do or don't have? Bloom writes it out, so that we are Lillian and we are watching Lillian at the same time.

When Lillian gets word (true or false, she doesn't know) that her daughter is alive in Siberia, she sets out to find her. We don't know until the end of the book whether that information is or isn't accurate, and it's because that's not what the story is about. The story is about the perseverance of women. Lillian's comes from the love for her child and her true nature as a caregiver. Gumdrop Brown's, a Seattle prostitute Lillian is saved by on her journey, comes from her strong sense of self-worth. Chinky Chang's, a Chinese convict Lillian meets in a Canadian women's prison, comes from her intelligence and adaptability. Mrs. Gilpin, who doesn't play a huge role, perseveres from a place of superficial to genuine comfort. Even dead Mrs. Mason is treated with the utmost respect via Lillian's care of her children. (None of this is to say that terrible things don't happen to each of these people... however all of them, with the sad exception of Mrs. Mason, knows exactly what they're getting into.)

For those who hate to wonder "what if," Bloom does us a favor and gives us a couple of pages on what happens to these people after Lillian has parted ways with them. The men - who I don't bother to mention because all but the last one she meets contribute on only a physical, trivial level - live and die tragically. The women make lives for themselves and are able to distance from their difficult beginnings. They never forget, of course, but they live long enough to have more to remember.

I didn't cry. I was never sad or even that moved, not even when we finally know whether Lillian's daughter is alive or whether they are ever reunited. Not even the awful descriptions of Lillian's physical torment compelled me as much as the power within her that kept her going. The women in this book know themselves and what they need and are able to identify that and latch onto it when they see it, even if it means turning their backs on everything they've known up to that point. That is strength. The special kind that women especially understand.