While I was waiting for my car's oil to be changed I picked up the Cosmo that was on the coffee table and came across these ridiculous, I mean "irresistible," flirting techniques. Let's discuss:
Give him a long once-over from head to toe, then bring your eyes back up to his. Smile ever so slightly to let him know you like what you see.
Ppppfffffff.
Pull your hair loose from a ponytail holder or clip so he can watch your touchable tresses fall around your face.
No. If my hair is up, it's because it's hot and/or unmanageable that day. I would only scare a guy away if I unleashed the mane in those conditions.
Cross your legs and slowly move your top foot in circles. His eyes will be drawn to your gorgeous gams since men are used to focusing on movement.
I think this is called Restless Leg Syndrome.
Grin and hold his gaze for three seconds. Then bite the corner of your lip and look down.
So, like, one... two... three... and THEN bite, or one... two... and bite on three? (Sarcasm.)
While conversing with a cutie, lean in so you're about six inches from his face. Linger for three counts, then slowly return to your original position.
Hahahaha! That's not creepy at all.
Rub your shoulder like you have a painful crick, then gently sigh. Not only will he find this extremely sexy, but you might even score a massage.
I've done this genuinely before and never got a massage out of it. No feedback on the sexiness, either.
Walk past him, then slowly swivel your head halfway toward him, rest your chin on your shoulder and smile. This asymmetrical pose shows that he's hot enough to literally turn heads.
Oh, good Lord.
During conversation, touch his knee or hand for emphasis.
His knee??? WHY? Are we talking about his high school sports injuries?
As a hottie brushes by you, stop him in his tracks by saying, "Wow, you smell great."
If this is true, I have no problem saying it. I loves me some good cologne. :)
While standing in line, inquire if he thinks it's worth the wait.
If what's worth the wait? (Probably the actual response he'd give.)
Pull out a copy of the Kama Sutra from your bag and say, "Would you be interested in joining my book club?"
THIS would be HILARIOUS!
Stroll over to a bored boy and inform him that you're from social search-and-rescue. Your mission? To save him from a dull night.
Womp, womp, wooooooooooooooomp.
Compliment him with "You look athletic. What sports do you play?"
"Where do you work out?" makes more sense because then you can show up at that place and see him there. Duh.
Tell him he looks so much like a friend of yours that you just had to say hello.
This is awkward, but it might actually get a conversation started.
Proclaim that you're thinking about changing your name. Then say with a smile, "Do I strike you as more of a Sienna or a Bambi?"
What. The. Fuck.
Wander over to him at a coffee shop or bookstore with the event-listings section of the paper and ask for his suggestion on a fun activity.
Ha! This is a funny suggestion for many reasons. =)
At a clothing store, tell him the shirt or pants he's considering buying would look amazing on him.
Why the hell am I shopping at a men's store??
Say that you're trying out a new perfume, then hold out your wrist or expose your neck and ask his opinion.
I believe I've done this one before. It's not a bad ice-breaker.
Guys love to hear their names — throw his into conversation a couple of times, and he'll know you're into him.
Oh, you mean I should acknowledge the person I'm having a conversation with? Whoda thunk?
Make the most of a loud room and lean in close. Then whisper conversation in his nerve-packed ears.
I mean, if it's loud, how else are you supposed to talk?
Ask him if it's hot (or cold) in the room and put his hands on your cheeks or neck for a temperature check.
I am not his mother.
Ask your studly neighbor to stop by and help you move something heavy or change a lightbulb you can't reach. Then repay his services with a beer.
Well that's just neighborly.
Here's the thing: I'm all for attempting to flirt, but the situation has to be somewhat genuine or else I feel completely stupid. I'm not going to just execute a stupid pick-up line to a complete stranger.
A guy will know I'm into him when I listen to what he has to say, ask questions, laugh at his jokes (good or bad) and tell him that I'm having fun. The rest is really just bullshit.
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