Book Review: "The School of Essential Ingredients"

This is exactly the book I needed to read after the disaster that was "South of Broad." (I'm still mad at you, Pat Conroy). This sweet little book by Erica Bauermeister lifted my spirits immeasurably.

It's about a restaurant owner, Lillian, who discovered a knack for cooking as a child and now teaches cooking classes on the one night a week her restaurant is closed. Her lessons aren't about following recipes (she doesn't believe in them), rather they're about discovering what's most important -- the essential ingredients, if you will -- when it comes to preparing food.

We see the progress of the lessons through the eyes of each class member, and come to find out that through Lillian they learn not only what's essential in the kitchen, but also what's essential in their lives.

My heart was warmed in this one. Perhaps it's because I was starved for something just like this at the moment. All that means is that this book was essential to me and I got exactly what I needed from it. The stories might not affect every reader the same way, but not one will be able to deny the deliciousness of the writing. I could smell, taste, see and hear every single thing in this book.

I already have a waiting list of people who want to borrow this based on my recommendation, but if you don't want to wait, I suggest running out and buying it. My copy cost me $3 on the clearance shelf. But it's definitely worth more. I don't think you'll be sorry to have it on your bookshelf, ready to grab whenever you need to be reminded of the essentials in your life.

Book Review: "South of Broad"

I've never read anything of Pat Conroy's before. He wrote "Prince of Tides." I've never seen that movie either.

If they are anything like my book club's January selection, I'm not interested.

I confirmed this by going to the bookstore and reading the summaries of Conroy's other books. They all had words like "suicide," "tragedy," "depression," "abuse."

Dude has issues, I guess.

Don't get me wrong. I don't have to have a happy ending. And I'm not against reading books that are sad. But for the love of God, can there at least be a point? A conclusion? Even if it's something as simple and nonsensical as the main character thinking to himself, "Wow. Some shitty things have happened to me. But at least I have these friends who are here for me no matter what."

I'm not going to summarize the whole book, but here are the key points: Suicide. Mental institution. Mother who never cared for son. False accusation. Mental instability. Stalking. Psychotic serial-killing father. AIDS. Natural disaster. Adultery. More suicide. Murder. Abandonment. Child molestation. Another mental institution.

AND FOR WHAT????

Nothing.

(Oh, also, mix in a shit ton of flowery narrative about the beauty and majesty of Charleston. Because the author's from South Carolina.)

This book is officially the most expensive door stop I ever bought.

Review: "Up In the Air"

What's the most important part of your life?

Is it your family and friends? Your career? Your independence? Your material possessions?

Imagine you put all those things in a backpack. The backpack feels pretty heavy, doesn't it? Lighten the load by one of the above items, whichever is most important. Then light the backpack and whatever is still in it on fire.

Are you happy with your choice?

George Clooney plays Ryan Bingham, whose job it is to fly around the country and fire people from their jobs. He has no qualms about doing this job because it, like everything else in his life, is not personal to him. He doesn't stay in touch with his family. He owns only the amount of personal property that fits in his carry-on. His goal in life is to become a member of an elite traveling club by reaching 10 million frequent flier miles.

Then he meets Alex, a woman not unlike him. And he falls for her. And suddenly things begin to change. Suddenly he's more heartfelt in his firings, he returns to his hometown for his sister's wedding, he even opens up to his young trainee, Natalie, who is assigned to watch and learn.

Just when you think Ryan is about to change everything by planting roots with Alex, he makes an unfortunate discovery. To Alex, it's all been a game. To Ryan, it was a chance to be the person he was always afraid to be. To Natalie, who feels enough for herself and the other two, it's too much.

Some people would see this movie as depressing. I see it as a chance at self-discovery: What is the most important part of your life? Chances are you know the answer. Now, like Ryan, you have a chance to save it from a fiery backpack.

Hanging my head in shame...

...because I am doing a shameful job of updating this blog frequently.

The Golden Globes were yesterday and while I find most awards shows really REALLY boring (get to the point, already, geez!) I admit that I often practice my own acceptance speech.

Because I'm going to win the Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay, you see.

It will go something like this:

[Obligatory comment of disbelief.] "Thank you so much to the Academy. Thank you to my parents, my sister and the rest of my family and friends back home in [insert hometown] for supporting me no matter what. I love you all so much.

Thank you to [agent], [list of people at the production company], [list of cast/crew] for turning my words into such a beautiful work of art.

But most of all, thank you to my dear friend [insert friend's name]. You trusted me as a friend when you needed to share what you were going through, and you trusted me even more when I told you I wanted to write that story down. I love you forever and share this with you. And if this has helped you, or comforted you in any way... if this has helped or comforted anyone out there who may be affected by [insert subject of movie] in any way... then I gladly accept this and share it with all of you. Thank you."

Then I'll do that awkward thing where I turn the wrong way and have to be directed to the correct stage exit. Because I would do that.

So yeah. Be on the lookout for that... someday.

Double review: "Sherlock Holmes" and "The Princess and the Frog"

Let's start with "Sherlock."

I am in love with Robert Downey Jr. I first fell in love with him at age 13 when he was in "Only You" with Marisa Tomei. That's when I also fell in love with the idea of Italy.

I sort of lost track of RDJ, but then he came back into my life with a vengeance in "Iron Man." He was still totally hot, he got totally buff and he was firing off sarcasm that makes a snarky bitch like me get weak in the knees.

So, basically "Sherlock" is all of the above with a British accent. *SWOON*

Also, I've always thought Jude Law was kind of a sleazebag. But damn if he isn't good looking.

A friend of mine disliked this movie because he's a Sherlock purist and wanted less action and more talk. It didn't bother me at all. This is a very fun movie, and from what I hear the first in what is sure to be a trilogy. (Side note: Do people make single movies anymore or are they all a series?)

If you go see it, come back and agree with me when I say that the villain looks like he could be Andy Garcia's twin brother. Oh, that reminds me: The good vs. evil plot is kind of lame, but I can forgive it because there's a bigger evil looming -- and that's always fun.

Now "The Princess and the Frog."

I'm a total Disney kid, which I know I've blogged about at least once. I won't repeat any of that (except to say that my all-Disney-heroines-don't-have-moms theory is shot to hell. This one has a mom. But the dad dies. So maybe they all just only get one parent? Whatever, I'll save it for another blog.)

The music in this movie is awesome. I'm all about the accordion. It's also beautifully drawn. That's right, I said DRAWN. This is the first time Disney's returned to hand-drawn animation in like 15 years. There are also songs in here. Nothing that's going to become a classic, mind you, but still. (Classics: "Hakuna Matata," "Under the Sea") They're going back to their roots and I like it.

Now, I might be a bit biased. I mean, I can quote from "The Little Mermaid," "Aladdin," "Beauty and the Beast" and "The Lion King." I cannot for the life of me remember a quote from "The Princess and the Frog." And I couldn't even as I was leaving the theater. A friend says that's because the quartet of movies I listed are from my childhood and are ingrained in me. That could be. But I also think it's because this one just wasn't as magical. Cute, yes. Magical... meh. (Doesn't mean I won't buy it on DVD, though.)

Disney gets a bunch of points for having the first ever black princess. Also, she fits the spunky Disney heroine mold. Even more points for not having her fall all over herself for the prince.

But the most points of all are won because I was inspired to cook gumbo for the first time in my life. Thanks, Disney. It was delicious.

Top 10 Christmas movies (yes, I can name 10)

Honorable Mention: "Holiday Inn" It covers all of the holidays, not just Christmas. It has Fred Astaire tap dancing while playing with firecrackers. (News nugget about me -- I used to dance. Tap was my specialty. Fred Astaire is an icon.)










10. "Prancer" I remember being bored to tears during this movie, but I also remember watching it in the theater with my family. :)










9. "Santa Claus: The Movie" Gotta love the '80s. Also gotta love John Lithgow's evil plan to turn March 25 (my birthday) into a new holiday -- Christmas 2 -- to edge out the original Christmas. But mostly you gotta love how Lithgow meets his end: He eats too many tainted candy canes and floats off into space like an evil, rogue balloon. Awesome.








8. "The Grinch" I loved the animated tale when I was a kid and felt like a kid all over again when Jim Carrey brought it to life. I could have done without Cindy Lou Who's "Where Are You Christmas?" -- and also without Faith Hill's crappy version. Thankfully, the song didn't ruin the magic.





7. "A Christmas Story" I don't need to explain why this is on the list, but perhaps its location. Sorry, but it just doesn't get me all warm and fuzzy like the ones ranked higher. I can appreciate a leg lamp, pink bunny costume and tongue stuck to a pole, though.






6. "Miracle on 34th Street" I love old movies. I could watch Turner Classic Movies all day. Natalie Wood is perfect, Maureen O'Hara is perfect and everybody's hair is perfect. Why can't we all wear hats and gloves and have perfectly coiffed hair at all times? Oh... and the whole thing with the letters at the end? Love it.








5. "Home Alone" What kid hasn't fantasized about getting a chance to rule the roost, not to mention having free reign to booby-trap the whole place? And then there's this line: "Buzz, your girlfriend... woof!" Merry Christmas John Hughes, wherever you are.






4. "It's a Wonderful Life" George Bailey had a plan for his life. And it didn't work out. And all he can think of, most of the time, is how his life isn't what he wanted it to be. And then he has a REALLY bad day and contemplates ending it all by jumping off a bridge. Clarence saves him by jumping in first, and gives George a chance to see what the lives of his loved ones would be like if he'd never been born. In the end, George realizes his life is wonderful exactly how it is. If you don't appreciate the message and get a little emotional on this one, YOU HAVE NO SOUL.



3. "White Christmas" First of all, nobody beats Bing Crosby when singing the title tune. Secondly, the dancing makes my heart swell up with happiness. Third -- perfect outfits, perfect hair, perfect Rosemary Clooney. Perfection.






2. "Love Actually" This movie makes me really happy and really sad at the same time. It's funny, heartwarming, surprising, sad, and, most moving of all, hopeful. It makes even a snarky person like me believe that love really could be out there somewhere, and hopeful that I'll find it one of these Christmases.








1. "A Charlie Brown Christmas" I know it's not a movie, but I love it the most. What's better than a bunch of kids and Snoopy discovering what Christmas is all about? And, as some of you may have already guessed, I'm a big fan of scraggly trees with single red ornaments. :)

Random thoughts as of late

1. I really love the *hiss, pop, crack* sound of a can of soda being opened.

2. I also really love the sound of wrapping paper being torn.

3. Wouldn't it be awesome to have enough money to never have to do laundry? Just wear things and then go buy new things to wear.

4. I want to have a camp or a compound someday. Like you sometimes hear on CNN: "A spokesperson from the Stefanie compound said today..." "No word yet from the Stefanie camp on this latest information..."

5. Man, I wish I was brave enough to let people hear me sing. I'm awesome in my car.

6. Guys, no matter how old they are, are stupid. Guys are forever stupid. Stupid. Forever.

7. I'm really terrified of writing this book. I don't know why.

8. You know how some people romanticize the old days and say they were born in the wrong era? I don't do that. If I had been born in any other era, I would be working in a field somewhere.

9. Grandparents are the best things ever.

10. I hate Wal-Mart.

11. I love Harry Potter.

12. I really need to go get the oil changed in the car.

13. If it's true that all God's creatures serve a purpose, then Bill O'Reilly must be here specifically to piss me off.

14. I want to go to the movies.

15. Holiday lights should stay up at all times.