Important vs. not important

I spent the majority of the past week feeling pretty sorry for myself. Last Thursday, I took the day off from work just because. I had lunch with friends, did some shopping, had coffee with my sister and vegged out at home for the rest of the day. Sounds pretty great, yes?

Well, no.

After the shopping, when I was walking through the parking lot to my car, I stopped paying attention to my surroundings. I stepped into a patch of mud. My flip-flop slid forward, my knees buckled and the next thing I know, I've hit muddy asphalt. My shopping bag has flown three feet away. My purse and its contents are strewn about.

Besides being really embarassing, falling down really hurts. Especially when you land on your right knee. Especially when you land on your right knee when you have bad knees to begin with.

I try to go about my day as normal, but I know the best thing is to elevate and ice down this knee. So that's what I do. (I'll only briefly mention that on this same day I also manage to spill soda all over myself and sob like a little girl for about 10 minutes.)

Since that day one week ago, a gnarly bruise has wrapped itself almost completely around my leg and there's numbness below the kneecap where there's still a bit of swelling. I didn't like that numbness at all, so I went to the doc to see what she thought. She touched my knee, moved my leg around, poked me on bruises and asked if it hurt (YES! What are you, eight???) and finally told me that as long as I wasn't in pain (I wasn't until you started poking bruises, Dr. Jekyll) I should just keep icing it and give it time to heal. If any pain pops up, she'll order and MRI.

This would normally be good news, except "give it time to heal" means I can't do the half-marathon that I've been training for since July. (Confession: The term "training" is used loosely here, seeing as how I haven't done a thing in like a month.) Still, I planned to at least walk the route. But it's not a good idea on a bum knee, especially when my Chicago trip is four days after the race. I don't want to jeopardize that.

So today, one week later, I'm still feeling a bit pathetic. I feel stupid and clumsy for injuring myself like that, and then lazy and guilty for not being able to do the race. My knee is going to be fine, and I still feel sorry for myself.

And then I turn on the TV and 12 people are dead and 31 are injured at Fort Hood and suddenly none of my bullshit matters at all. My thoughts are with the loved ones of those who were hurt or killed.