I read this thing online today where this girl listed what she believes to be outdated gestures of chivalry. Actually, the term she used was "creepy." I am no doubt a feminist, but there are some things I don't agree with her on. Let's break down her list, shall we?
1. Ordering my meal for me.
I'll give her this one. It's awkward. Unless, of course, you've been dating for a while and you always get the same thing at a certain restaurant so he does it because he knows you'll get it anyway. But even in that case, a quick "that was right, right?" look would be in order.
2. Letting me win at a game.
In my case, this would never be an issue. I'm awesome. And kind of mean. And play for blood. He doesn't have a chance.
3. Using a code term for going to the bathroom.
What? I don't understand. Was this ever a chivalrous gesture? And if so, why?? Do guys think they need to protect us gals from talk of Number Two? It's not like it stops us from complaining about raging cramps in front of them.
4. Pulling out my chair.
This doesn't bother me. It's the standing behind me and trying to help me scoot in that bothers me. Thanks, but I got it.
5. Carrying my purse.
If I'm juggling a bunch of stuff in my arms, a helping hand is quite welcome, actually. But if the purse is the only thing I'm carrying, no assistance is needed.
6. Asking my dad for my hand in marriage.
I haven't asked my dad for permission to do anything since I turned 18. You don't need to, either. (Side note: I get that this is traditional and what not, but you're not marrying my dad. If you just HAVE to chat with him beforehand, it would be in your best interest to include my mom, too. And the conversation should go something like, "I love your daughter and am going to propose, just thought you'd like to know.") One person you SHOULD talk to about this is my sister, who can tell you exactly what ring I want and help you get it so you don't screw that part up. (KIDDING... sort of.)
7. If you're paying for dinner, not letting me put in for tip.
I'm actually ok with this, too. I mostly just offer to be polite.
8. Helping me put my coat on.
I love this. Extra points for you if you do it.
I'm annoyed by hyper-sensitive women who think that just because a man does something polite means he thinks she's incapable. Obviously I can open doors all by myself, but if a guy is there and does it for me... thanks. I'm perfectly capable of walking myself from a building to my car, but if a guy would like to walk with me... ok. If, while we're walking, the guy positions himself closest to the street... further bonus points!! My grandpa and dad do this and I love it. If it's cold out and I don't have a jacket, you go right ahead and offer me yours. I'd be happy to stop being cold.
Of course the days of men jumping to their feet whenever a woman enters a room are over (although, I must confess, I would LOVE to see this. I would pay that woman $100 to walk in, realize she forgot something, walk out, realize she didn't forget something after all, and walk right back in. Also... is it a myth that a man would take off his coat and lay it over a puddle so that a woman could walk without stepping in the water? That's another thing I'd love to see.)
The days of common courtesy should never be over. So guys, you go right ahead.
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