Happy Birthday to me

I turn 29 today (or tomorrow, depending on when this is posted. March 25 is my birthday).

A few people have done that thing where they ask how old I'm turning, I say 29 and they do, like, a quick inhale of air through their teeth. I think that's supposed to mean that they expect me to freak out about almost being 30.

I am so not freaking out.

Don't get me wrong, there are moments when I'm like, "My ovaries are totally going to dry up if I don't get married and have kids soon." But then I actually THINK about getting married and having kids and I do the quick inhale of air through my teeth.

Clearly, I'm not ready for any of that.

I'm actually looking forward to the 30s (after I enjoy this last year of the 20s, of course). I think in the 20s, people are still trying to figure themselves and the world and what they want out of both. In the 30s, there's a foundation. Not to say it's going to be easy and suddenly make sense, but I think people in their 30s are more assured overall. Plus, they are more respected by others than people in their 20s are. (I think.)

The other day at work, a friend of mine who is almost 2 years older than me told me she was freaking out because a lot of her friends from high school and college seemed to be having kids at the same time. The rest of the convo went something like this:

Me: "Why does that freak you out?"

Her: "Because we're so young! I can't imagine being a mom right now, can you?"

Me: "No, but we're at the age where it happens. Didn't we just talk the other day about how pregnancies are considered higher risk if the women is 35 or older?"

Her: "Yeah."

Me: "That's not that far away."

Her: "I know."

I know I keep harping on the pregnancy/baby thing. I must have been brainwashed at a young age or something, because I honestly don't want that right now. Maybe not ever. But then I think of things like how my mom gave birth to my little sister when she was 29 and I feel like I'm behind on things in life.

Wow, this turned into a weird post. I'm going to blame it on 20s-self-doubt residue.

The point I was trying to make at the beginning is this: I'm not afraid of moving from my 20s into my 30s. I think a lot of things are going to happen for me in that decade. And I'm looking forward to them.

But if I'm not married by the time I turn 40, I'm totally registering for birthday gifts.