Is college a waste?

It sounds to me like this guy just couldn't hack it.

Look, nobody was more lost, confused and discouraged in college than me. There I was, a high school honor student who never had to exert myself academically (except for AP English, which required actual brain cells) facing a full load of brain cell-required classes.

Even so, the academics weren't what ruined me. It was the real world, the individual freedom I had in college that I'd never had before. I'd always been part of something. I had a safety net. People to keep tabs on me and consequences for my actions. All of that went away when I went to college, and I went a little nuts. Having freedom when you've never had it before can be a dangerous thing.

When I dropped out after 2 years, it was because I was completely disoriented and was only wasting my time and my parents' money trying to figure it out. I needed to take a step back, focus and maybe try again. It took 2 years for me to go back. In those 2 years I worked my minimum wage jobs and did whatever else I wanted. And you know what? It felt empty.

When I went back, I eased in, starting part-time. Then I got involved in different organizations that not only gave me something of a support system, but also experience outside of the classroom. I realized I could learn from every situation I was in, and suddenly my life seemed to calm down and start making a little sense.

I get this guy's theory: No, a classroom education isn't going to provide all the knowledge a person needs to make it in the real world. But the academic side (especially for us liberal arts majors) is the very least of what we take away from the college experience. It's meeting and learning how to communication with different types of people. It's learning how to absorb information and analyze it on our own. It's having experts and research materials within arm's reach for a brief time, which will never come again (unless we go to grad school, which I have considered.) It's having opportunities to try things we'd never tried before without major consequences if we fail. And that's because even if we fail, we learn something.

A degree doesn't just represent academic achievement. It represents eagerness, willingness, readiness and most of all perseverance. That is what college is all about.

Book Review: "A Visit From the Goon Squad"

Jennifer Egan's Pulitzer-winning novel is hard to review because there are so many specifics in it that it's impossible to explain one part without needing to explain all the parts.

If I had to define what it's about, I'd say it's about growing up, changing and revisiting your past as a stranger.

Each chapter is told in a different character's point of view, and along the way we learn how the characters' stories are connected. This has been done before, but these characters are all so vibrant that it doesn't feel tired. There's also a really unique chapter presented in the form of slides a la PowerPoint. You wouldn't think you'd take away as much information or even the essence of the character from that kind of presentation versus a written chapter, but you do. (Don't tell my employers, who are currently obsessed with iPads and web site traffic and seem to have forgotten that their core product is a written publication.)

The last chapter is unsettling because it seems to take place in a time ahead, where almost all communication is reduced to "text speak" and human-to-human interaction is even less genuine than it is now. In this futuristic digitized world (unsettling because it doesn't seem far-fetched), an event occurs that is one of those "Do you remember where you were when..." moments. It rocks people (that is an excellent pun, if you've read it) to their core and sort of snaps them out of their digital fog for a second. It makes them remember what a person is capable of, as opposed to the capabilities of technology.

I think that's what Egan was trying to get across all along: No matter how advanced we think we are, we are humans first. And that alone makes us awesome.

Movie Review: "Bridesmaids"

"It's supposed to be like the female version of 'The Hangover.' "

Why did people ever say this? It definitely is not.

The movie is about Annie (Kristen Wiig), whose best friend Lilly (Maya Rudolph) is getting married and has asked Annie to be her maid of honor. Annie's happy for her friend, but seeing her friend so happy only further sharpens the contrast of Annie's own unhappiness. (She's lost her business, been dumped, is sleeping with an asshole who treats her like shit, has to live with two terrible roommates, works at a job she hates and has to deal with her half-crazy mom.)

The other women in the bridal party are Lilly's cousin Rita (the blonde chick from Reno 911), her Disney-obsessed coworker Becca (played by the chick who plays Erin on The Office), Lilly's future sister-in-law Megan (played by scene-stealer Melissa McCarthy, real-life cousin of Jenny McCarthy) and Lilly's fiance's boss's wife... got that?... Helen (played by Rose Byrne.)

The comedy comes in when Helen tries to take over maid of honor duties to outshine Annie, and Annie retaliates. And if you're into bathroom humor, oh boy, do you get the mother of all uncontrollable poop/puke scenes.

So, yeah, I guess the fact that the plot surrounds a wedding and there's some raunch and nastiness makes it Hangover-ish, but the core difference is that this movie was written by women and shows how a woman's mind works. (Guys. Pay attention.)

Women are always a little bit sad. There. I said it.

There are obvious things, like not fulfilling their career dreams or being dumped or feeling trapped in a bad relationship because they don't think they can do any better.

But there are also other things, like not feeling like you have true friends or not feeling like you can trust even the good guys after being treated so shittily by the bad ones.

I think that's as far as a man will follow, but watch out, fellas, there's another layer:

Desperately missing the naivety and hopefulness of your childhood.

Heartbreak of letting go of a bit of your individual identity to have a future with someone.

Guilt at replacing things that used to be the most important with things that are now important.

"Bridesmaids," under the hilarity and nonsense, gives us all of that. Men might not see past the poop and the puke and the obvious, but women will feel all the layers. So the tears might not be 100% from laughter.

Jennifer Lawrence as Katniss Everdeen

When Jennifer Lawrence was announced as the actress to play Katniss Everdeen in the movie adaptations of The Hunger Games series (here's my write up on the books), I had a problem with it. Not because I don't think she can act the role. Because, well, look at her!





She's a freakin' bombshell! Katniss is dark and semi-starved and kind of a badass. Still, I decided to hold off on full judgement until actually seeing the movie.


Then, Entertainment Weekly put Lawrence as Katniss on their cover.




I take back any reservations I had. She looks awesome. (Still not completely sold on Josh Hutcherson as Peeta or Liam Hemsworth as Gale, but maybe I'll be pleasantly surprised there, too.) The movie is still in production, but I'm really looking forward to seeing it when it comes out. :)

Book Review: "Where She Went"

Last year, I read Gayle Forman's "If I Stay," the story of Mia Hall and her internal battle to decide whether or not to live after her family is in a horrific car accident. (Here's my review.) Forman just released the follow-up, which I guess spoils what Mia's decision at the end of "If I Stay" was. She stayed.

Five years later, we're in New York City with Adam Wilde, Mia's boyfriend from "If I Stay," who is now a rock star, dating a Hollywood actress and spiraling into major drug- and alcohol-induced train wreck status. Mia is nowhere.

Except she is. We see, via Adam's memories/flashbacks, what happened to his and Mia's relationship after the accident and during her recovery. We see Adam's rise to stardom. We see how even though Mia's not physically in his life anymore, she is in his every thought, dream and song (thanks to lyrics from the band's album, which could only be about Mia and which Forman includes at the beginnings of some of the chapters.)

Then, lo and behold, there is Mia in the flesh. She spends all night with Adam, catching up, reminiscing and getting down to brass tacks on what actually happened between them. I won't give away whether or not they reunite. You'll have to read it to find out.

One of my complaints about "If I Stay" was Forman's excessive references to bands, music and the cool kids who know about those things. There was much less of that in this book, and I appreciated that. I also appreciate the way she writes dialogue. It's very true to life.

I like Mia and Adam, and if Forman wanted to, she could figure out a way to continue their story. If she did, I'd be okay with it. If she doesn't, these two books can stand alone and leave the reader satisfied.

Book & Movie Review: "Jane Eyre"

I haven't read Jane Eyre since high school. I remember being afraid when I read the parts with the mysterious laughter and the ghost-like woman drifting through the halls. I remember being horrified that that woman turned out to be the insane wife of Mr. Rochester, who was supposed to be in love with Jane. I remember being pissed, then, that he planned to dupe Jane into an illegal marriage without ever telling her that he was already married. Never once did I believe it was a love story. My head kept saying "Get out of there, Jane. He's awful. You can do better." My heart agreed.

I guess perspective comes with age. This time around, I sympathized with Mr. Rochester. He was duped into a dishonest marriage with the crazy lady, and all he wanted was a chance a real life with a woman he really loved. Because he did really love Jane. His actions are still terrible, but I can understand them.

When Jane leaves him, the high school Stefanie thought she made the exact right choice and that she should forget about him. Adult Stefanie agreed that it was the right choice, but damn if I didn't want her to go back.

Love stories in high school are boy meets girl, boy does some jackass thing that ruins the relationship, girl leaves boy even though she still loves him, boy executes some grand gesture to win girl back, girl forgives and they go to prom.

Love stories in the adult world are very very different. There are no formulaic plots (except for romantic comedies, which have a funny line or two, if they're lucky, but mostly suck). Jane Eyre is an adult love story that I never fully appreciated until now.

A new movie adaptation is in theaters now, starring Mia Wasikowska as Jane and Michael Fassbender as Mr. Rochester. Oh and Judi Dench is the maid because if it's a British period movie, Judi Dench is contractually obligated to appear.

The movie was lovely. Mia and Michael have great chemistry together (my favorite scene is when she's telling him she's leaving him. Holy guacamole that is an intense moment. Jane is a strong woman. I probably would have caved). I really believe that they love each other and I really really wanted her to go back.

Of course she does go back. When she gets there she sees that there's been a terrible fire and learns that Crazy Mrs. Rochester died in it and Severely Depressed Mr. Rochester almost did, too. (This is always hilarious: In the book, Rochester has one eye knocked out of his head and the other is burned up, plus he has a hand amputated after it was crushed by a beam. Not a pretty picture. In the movie, Rochester is indeed blind but still has both his eyes, and he also sports a shaggy beard. That's the extent of the damage. Can't have him getting TOO ugly, I guess?)

English teachers would point out the significance of Rochester being handsome in the beginning but plagued with an unattractive soul full of secrets and compare it to his physical decline in the end, albeit with a cleansed soul. Then they'd point out that Jane loved him before his ailments, and that she loved him just as much after them. The moral of the story, kids? You can't choose who you love, but you can choose how you let them love you. And that's the adult Stefanie, who finally figured that out, speaking.

P.S. - You can pay full price admission for this one. It's worth it.

Movie review: "Water for Elephants"

This is post 1 of 3 for tonight (I need to catch up and I feel super guilty for slacking so much lately).

Sara Gruen's novel "Water for Elephants" was one of my favorites from the many we've read in book club. (We read it before all the hype around it started, so that definitely helped, I think. Hype is the killer of good things.)

When I heard there was a movie adaptation coming, I had mixed feelings. They were 1. Yay! I love that book! It would be so awesome as a movie, and 2. Oh, God, I hope they don't fuck it up.

My hopes were not high when the primary three cast members were announced: Christoph Waltz as August, Reese Witherspoon as Marlena and Robert Pattinson as Jacob. The problem wasn't Christoph, who is a weirdo and needed to be for this role. Nor was it Robert, who I think is a decent actor and gets a bad rap because he's that vampire from that series a few people have heard of. Reese. Reese was the problem.

My exact first thought: She's too old for that part. Reese Witherspoon is, what... 34? 35? Whatever it is, it's NOT old. However, Marlena is supposed to be in her early 20s, which is part of the reason why her and August's relationship has such a chasm, and part of the reason why her and Jacob's relationship is so compatible. Reese cannot pull off early 20s. Sorry.

So, I went to the movie theater with really low expectations. I'm happy to say it was beautifully shot, Rosie (the elephant) is as adorable as you hope her to be, and the individual performances by Christoph, Robert and Reese were well done.

The problem, as I expected it to be, were the relationships between the characters. Christoph and Reese don't seem as wrong for each other as August and Marlena do in the book; and Robert and Reese don't seem as right for each other as Jacob and Marlena do in the book. What's the common denominator here? Reese.

They should've gone younger. Jennifer Lawrence has the exact right look (but no, she's hard at work as Katniss in "The Hunger Games" movie, another bit of casting I can't really get behind, but I'll reserve full judgement until I see the film.) Riley Keough would have worked, too. Candice Accola, even.

It boils down to this: Marlena is unhappy. She feels trapped. She honestly doesn't believe there's anything else in this life for her until Jacob shows up and suddenly there's a glimmer of the life she might be able to have. This is a dilemma a young woman, not a grown woman, would face. Young women sometimes need to be pointed in the right direction to escape their circumstances. Grown women have chosen to stay where they are. Marlena needs to be pointed. Reese chose to stay.

I really enjoyed the movie. I'm glad I saw it, but I'm also glad I paid matinee price.